Get a giant telephoto lens.
Start zoomed all the way out.
Step back a few feet and zoom in so the object is the same size.
My juicy jays variety package just came in! 11 packs of paper (32 sheets per pack) - I got banana, raspberry, chocolate milk, peaches n creme, strawberry, kiwi n strawberry, green trip, absinth, watermelon, green apple, and very cherry.
I might be a little too excited.